Writer: Menna Abdelfattah
Editor: Doaa Saady
I don’t think we actually know what our worth is, to ourselves and to others. We play it easy and we get along with people. We have fun and we dance. We cry and we mourn. We have mood swings. We do a lot of stupid things that we thought were not and then we think ” Omg, I’m so dumb” or “Why did I ever do that?” or “What the hell was I thinking?”. It’s ok to make mistakes because we aren’t perfect and because we’re human. Those mistakes don’t define us, they don’t show our worth to anyone, especially to yourself.
We’ve all been through a lot, I’m sure. Sometimes, what we’re going through seems like nothing to others, however, it causes a dilemma for you. At that time, you find yourself all alone, or maybe just one or two that stick by you through it all. You then begin to wonder ” Am I really that bad?” or “Did I do something wrong!?” or the worst of them all “Am I not worth it?”. You put yourself down over random thoughts that pop up in your mind. You lower your self-esteem and your courage. You slowly begin to retreat into your own shell, building walls around you, all that done unknowingly, because your mind is trying to protect you from that kind of shock again.
It’s actually really good that you face your battles alone. It shows how much power you hold over yourself. It resembles that you are strong and that you have a fierce personality.
On the other hand, it’s not always gonna be the best thing to do everything alone. To face your problems alone will eventually lead you to feel lonely, alone and misunderstood. Feeling lonely is common nowadays, but,feeling like you’re alone is really tiring. After all, everyone needs at least one person to get by.
Speaking from personal experience, I’ve been going through a lot those couple of weeks and I’m still going through so much. And when I say a lot, I mean A LOT. I started losing hope that I’m ever gonna get better because I feel like I keep on going in circles. A circle that keeps on repeating with no way to escape. I feel trapped and I can’t do anything that I like anymore. I don’t even have the energy to cry. I don’t want to write, eat, and even sleep is something I dread, but I had a little bit of assistance.
I ranted to someone whom I now consider a really good friend. I didn’t stop spouting out words until I practically said everything I’m undergoing and feeling. They waited patiently until I finished, ensuring me that they’re with me and to keep going. After I finished, I felt as if something was lifted off my shoulders and I was greatly advised. That person told me that I shouldn’t give up. They told me that I’ve come so far, why not finish it? They gave me their support and encouraged me to get accustomed to my new conditions. It may not seem that much, but it helped me a great deal. It brightened my mood a bit. Feeling that you have people behind you is something that gives you strength to take on everything life throws at you.
The next day, I wrote this article. I forced myself to express my emotions through writing as much as I can. I fought, I’m still fighting and I will fight until it’s finally over and I’m satisfied. I’ll fight, not just because I want to, but because I also need to. I need to fight, so when I look back, I won’t be disappointed in myself. I’ll fight, so when the time comes, I’ll be ready to move on to the next level and try again and again till I succeed. I’ll fight to live. I’ll fight for something I believe in. I’ll fight for my happiness. And most of all, I’ll fight for myself, for my comfort, for my tranquility.
Don’t let your thoughts wander to dark places that’ll get you lost, confused and irritated. Whenever you feel like that, go talk to someone. Be it your parents, your friends, or even a complete stranger, it will help. When you feel like giving up, take a trip down memory lane, remember everything you’ve been through, reminisce what you endured and relive that feeling you had when you got by it. That feeling of relief and satisfaction when you finally got through it. The feeling of pride that warmed your veins when you walked out of that battle alive and well. That is what you should always think of at moments like these. Your worth is defined and portrayed by none other than you. You paint a painting of yourself to others. You show others what your worth is. If someone doesn’t stick by you, then it’s because you’re way too good for them, not because you’re not of value. Don’t bring yourself down. Don’t underestimate your worth, because you’re worth so much, but the right person hasn’t shown up yet to guide you and disclose it to you.
Live your life to the fullest with no regrets. You make a mistake, you learn from it and correct it. You fall, you get up again. You break, you heal yourself. In the end, you are the one who makes you, YOU. You are the one that determines how others will treat you. So, make them treat you as the pulchritudinous, inviolable, dauntless and dignitary person that you are.