Writer: Menna Abdelfattah
Editor: Doaa Saady
So, today’s article is not my usual type of writing criteria; however, that particular topic has in the simplest way possible blown up my mind with infinite numbers of thoughts to extents I never thought are possible, you could say.
I was merely asked a question. That question brought doubts, fears, and lots of debates and arguments in my life. You may be wondering “What kind of question was that?”
The first thing you’ll think of is if it’s about my future and what I want to do in it. You’re not entirely wrong with that thought, but, you’re not right either. You see, that question was undeniably challenging because I realized that one day, it might happen to me and I’d be clueless on what to do with the choice I have. I already gave my answer requiring that question, but, if I was ever put in the same situation, would I choose the same or would I not?
It’s so easy to answer questions and make choices as long as they’re just not real. You assume your situation, but you’ve never faced it. That’s why almost everyone who has their life planned out is clueless on what to do in the next step when something unexpected happens. All because they imagined an encounter where everything seemed safe and reliable. The environment, itself, was almost non-existent to the one they’ve been analyzing their whole life.
Let’s bring on the question, shall we? I was inquired of answering the following:
“If you had a choice, would you rather have someone who cares about you but doesn’t believe in you nor support your work, or would you rather have someone that believes and supports you but doesn’t care for you?”
It’s a hard one, isn’t it? I mean, combine them together and they’re perfect. Unfortunately, no one is perfect. I did ask if I can choose neither of them. Can you guess the answer to that? I wasn’t allowed to. It was a choice I had to make. A difficult, almost impossible one to decide on, but I did pick one in the end.
The question has both negative and positive qualities. It’s based on your personality and the type of person you are to decide which one you’re going to select.
Let me give you a brief insight on both choices. I’ll do that by giving examples. We’ll refer to the one who cares but doesn’t believe as ‘One’ and the one who believes but doesn’t care as ‘Two’.
Example one: You want to get into a certain college, a superior one, you might say, One wouldn’t see you’re fit to do it. He might not say it to you directly, but you’ll know. As for Two, he’ll motivate you to pursue your dreams and to fight for them.
Example two: You are a gambler. You lose quite a good amount of games. See, One would tell you to stop because they care about you. On the other hand, Two would encourage you to keep going, even if it has the risk of you losing every single time.
Those are not the only conditions that may exist to reciprocate that choice. This is merely just a needle in a haystack. There are countless situations that may occur. Unpredicted, boundless and unforeseen ones that will get you hay-wired and will set an incoherent mindset for you.
I made an experiment based on that question. I decided I would ask people and let them decide to gain more perspectives regarding that matter. Many were baffled and couldn’t decide, some didn’t want to choose, and on rare occasions, they would answer right away, no hesitation on sight.
At first the score of One: Two was 13:9
Then it got a bit fierce and became 14:12
The final result was 18:15
I asked a lot of people, a lot were rendered speechless when they saw how fast and demanding that question was. Quite a few people were also shocked when the numbers were suddenly so near when they were a bit far.
I did give everyone the same examples as I did above. Indecisive and rattled may be the words that would explain what that experience felt like.
I tried to analyze the personalities as much as I could. After a lot of thinking, I finally came up with this:
He who cares but does not believe will always look down upon your work, but will be there when you need him to take care of you. He who does not care but believes will drive you far beyond your capabilities just to help you achieve your dream, but will not involve himself in matters that doesn’t concern him.
That was my best guess about them. Based on that, I made my decision.
You all want to know what I chose, right? I’ll let you be for a bit. Think about it. Choose wisely. Don’t let anyone influence you. I’ll be back again once you all choose. Tell me your answers and why you chose them. Then and only then, I’ll let you know mine.
So…
If I gave you a choice just like the one I was given, what would you do? Who would you choose? What would be the reason behind this choice?
